i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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