You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary