): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life