I don't get it.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas