Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
