i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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