what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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