i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
