who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
