Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
