...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
