So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
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he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
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Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
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