***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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