well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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