i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize