its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
