your parents love me but you hate me
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i will never coherently bang her
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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