dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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