So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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