I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
