That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
