If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
