Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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