Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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