She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
