Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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