That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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