I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize