that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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