Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
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