Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
