I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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