I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Every concussion has its silver lining
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
