we have pet lesbian snakes
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We are all done wearing pants today
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
