She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
