Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
last night I used snow as a chaser
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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