Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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