My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize