The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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