if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I looked at my own cervix.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
