She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
