I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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