East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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