she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
