I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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