I'm gonna have a badass scar
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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