You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
well you can't waste a boner
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
