five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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