I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
