he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
