oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
