Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Do vagina's smell?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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