Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
NoShamevember. You game?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
