I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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