actually, I'm a sock model
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
