She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
