An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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