real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
