even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
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I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
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We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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