The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
