weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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